Stockholm ain't just a city in Sweden
by flashwitch
Summary: Neal could handle Prison. In Prison, Neal knew what to do. How to cope. In Prison no one asked him out to lunch or joked around with him. Now he's out, but he's still a prisoner and he doesn't know what to do when Peter doesn't treat him like one.


It starts of slow. Probably because he isn't expecting to be treated like this. So nicely, so gently, like a human being rather than a con. It surprises him when Peter calls him Neal, not Caffrey. When they laugh together. When Peter buys him lunch, with a gruff remark about it being on the government.

It's hard not to let himself fall. He has to keep reminding himself that Peter has the power here. That he doesn't have any control. That it would be sick to be friends with, to fall for, his captor.

But he keeps smiling when Peter brings him home and lets him sleep on the couch. He keeps laughing when Peter makes some lame joke. He keeps feeling his heart jump when they finish each others' sentences without even trying.

Okay, he thinks, so there's a power differential. Is that really a bad thing? Does that mean they can't be friends? Something more?

It hurts to think about.

He puts it in a box and moves it to the back of his mind. He knows Mozzie isn't impressed with how close he's let himself get. How easily he'll let himself be manipulated.

It isn't real if he doesn't think about it. So he doesn't think about it. He smiles pretty and goes along and tries not to shake when Peter touches him.

* * *

As time goes on, he forgets to be afraid. He forgets to be angry. He starts to believe in it. In this friendship they've made between them. It just makes it hurt worse when there's a reminder of his position.

"Hey, I can have you tossed back in prison whenever I feel like it."

"I check your anklet every morning and every night before I go to bed."

"Trust you? Come on, Neal. I like you well enough, but..."

He's been here before. Well, not here exactly. But he's trusted people with power over him before and it's never ended well. If he can't trust Peter, then he's got nothing.

He keeps on smiling pretty and trying to get along. At night he tries to find a way out. A way to get rid of the anklet. If he didn't have the anklet, then they'd be equals and he could see how much was real.

Everything Peter does, every overture of friendship, every single thing, Neal can think of a pragmatic explanation for. When Peter takes him for lunch, it's because he wants to take advantage of every moment of the work day. When Peter asks him if he's okay, it's because he wants to make sure the team functions at peak efficiency. When Peter invites him home for dinner, it's...well, you get the picture.

It hurts. He hates how he's falling for Peter, El, Diana, Clinton. He hates how he's letting them manipulate him. What's worse is the voice at the back of his head asking if maybe it's really real. Maybe Peter really does like him. Maybe the team really do trust him.

That's the most dangerous thing. That he might grow to trust it. That he might let himself feel this...

He wonders if it's the same for Peter. If Peter spends all their time together reminding himself that Neal is a criminal and therefore not to be trusted. If the little voice in Peter's head asks him 'what if it's all real?' 'What if Neal really likes him?'

Even if it is the same, if Peter wonders the same things Neal does, it's not really _the same_. Because Peter isn't in Neal's power the way Neal is in Peter's. Neal can't really hurt Peter. Not the way Peter can hurt Neal.

* * *

Mozzie really starts worrying when Neal mentions (he's very drunk at the time) that sometimes the anklet makes him feel safe. Not just when he's been kidnapped by bad guys and he's waiting for Peter to come rescue him (in Peter's defence, he always does) but sometimes when he's at June's, late at night. He'll look at the anklet and smile, because it means Peter knows where he is. He knows how messed up that is. Which is why he's very drunk.

Mozzie tells him they'll find a way. They need to get Neal out before he's broken beyond repair. Neal doesn't tell him he thinks it's already too late.

They fight and Neal goes to Peter's house. He thinks that says a lot. He sits on their couch and rubs Satchmo's head. He almost wishes Peter would send him away. Hit him. Shout at him. Something.

But he doesn't. Peter and El are welcoming. They smile at him and let him in. it's a little late for dinner, but they offer him dessert and a glass of wine.

"Why do you have to be so nice?" he asks. "Why aren't you... I thought that you'd be different. I thought that you'd be more like, you know, a suit. I thought I'd just be a tool."

"Neal?"

"Don't. Don't pretend you don't know. You know. I know that you know. It's a game. You're playing along. You're trying to make me like you. Initiating Stockholm. I know you are."

"What?" that's El. He likes El. She's pretty and strong and so much a part of Peter that he couldn't imagine one of them without the other. She sounds shocked and Neal rolls his head to look at her.

"Everything you do. Every time you're nice, I can see why you do it. I can see how it's practical to keep me on your good side." He waves a languid hand. "I've tried pretending it's not there. that you don't have control over everything I do. That you don't have more power over me than the guards did. But you won't tell me what you want. I'm broken." He laughs, loud and slightly hysterical. "I'm broken."

"No, you're not," Peter's hand is in his hair, gentle. Why does he always have to be gentle? "You are drunk though."

"No, you're not listening!" It's suddenly really important that they understand. That Peter knows what's happening to him. "I look at the anklet and I feel safe. That's not... it's a cage. A leash. I shouldn't feel safe, Peter."

"Shut up." Peter's voice is desperate, even if his hand is still gentle. "Just shut up."

Neal fades away then, listening to Peter. It's one of the things he does best at the minute. Listening to Peter. Tomorrow he'll be sober and his shields will be back up and he'll be able to deal with this.

Maybe.

* * *

**I'm almost definitely going to do a second part from Peter's perspective, including the aftermath of Neal's drunken confession.**


End file.
